SS DOOMTROOPER

2006

Directed by David Flores

A.K.A. The Dirty Dozen Er, SEVEN meet Frankenstein Uh, Wolfenstein?

Plot Ah, straight to sci-fi. The hallmark of quality crap. There are, apparently, very few guidelines to get their approval. 1. Have a Monster (usually made out of CGI) 2. Have a B, or possibly C list celebrity star in the film in some capacity. And that's really about it. Usually these end up being either fantasy-set mythological tales, or modern-set monsters-on-the-loose style flicks. The guys behind this film went a...well, different route. During World War II, the Allies were working on harnessing radiation to create a bomb. Meanwhile the Germans decided to use this new technology to make the ultimate soldier. They strap in a strapping young Aryan to their machine, and faster than you can say "Bruce Banner", Captain Hinterlands is turned into...SS DOOMTROOPER!! He's basically a big gray dude with a min-gun strapped to his wrist, and he can turn people into ash by holding onto them and flexing his electro-muscles. Meanwhile, Captain Mallory (Corin Nemic, TV'S Parker Lewis! ) is assigned to gather a team of men to seek out the monster and it's home base lab. He then proceeds to gather up a ragtag team of jailed soldiers, giving them a full pardon upon success of the mission. Each member has a different specialty, such as Digger, the bomb specialist and only non-con of the team (also Mallory's father-figure,) "Papa" the sniper, and my favorite, "Private Parker Lewis" a kid who can "hotwire anything". That's right, someone made a Corin Nemic vehicle, and had one of the characters named Parker Lewis. This script can't lose! Anywho, the gang heads off to find out what those zany nazis are up to. It doesn't take long to discover it: They run smack-dab into Doomy, who is proceeding to kill some other soldiers. Somehow, despite not wearing any armor whatsoever, he appears to be bullet-proof. Not being dummies, the gang gets away while the getting's good. Meanwhile, the Gerries decide to have their boy com home. Too bad the Trooper gets a case of radio-rage and just starts killing Nazi's like it's going out of style. Meanwhile, the doughboys find their way into a French Resistance hideout. See, they're trying to figure out a way to beat ol' Uberherr too. They've proven that using a buttload of explosives does nothing. T hey do at least know the layout of the fortress so the good guys can raid that. THen, faster than you can say "ME AM BIZZARRO!" our friend the Doomtrooper comes crashing in, laying as much waste as he can. Now against all odds, the ragtag team must storm the castle, defeat a legion of nazis, destroy their technology, AND figure out how to defeat the monster. Oddly enough, the second act or so of this film spends time ignoring the title character and settling into a generic WWII flick.

Rating I give SS Doomtrooper Three Rotting Shambling Corpses out of Five. Also, I'd say it's mildly better than your average straight-to-sci-fi flick.

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