SPLATTER FARM
1987
Directed by "P. Alan"
A.K.A. Reader Review Requests bit Choco on the ass. Already.
PlotWell. I figured that making the RRR section was a surefire way to get some stinkeroos into my hands, but how did I end up hitting the bottom of the barrel on my first time out? This review comes courtesy of Billy Anderson and The Nefarious Dr. Kobb. If you believe certain reports, the film "Redneck Zombies" was the first shot-on-video film. It's possible that this film predates it, as copywrites tend to ignore months, and both films are from 1987. It's obvious however, which is the better film... The plot to this film is a pretty simple one: Two twin brothers (the Polonia bros. who most likely wrote, shot and directed the film under the psudonymous "P. Alan") who I will call "Red" and "Niagra", in reference to the shirts they wear the entire film. I think Niagra is named Joshua, but good luck finding Red's real name out. Anyways, the two of them are off to spend the summer at the farm owned by their Aunt Lacy, who apparently has certain...unwholesome feelings for Red. Also staying at the farm is Lacy's helper, Jeremy. Despite being obvious, the twins seem oblivious to the fact that Jeremy is their cousin. Jeremy, meanwhile, is an interesting cat. He has a habit of killing men, then chopping them up and using their various parts to uh...please himself. Yeah. Eventually the twins start suspecting something is awry out here in the country with dear Jeremy, and start investigating matters, especially Niagra. Of course they do in fact start discovering body parts and whatnot, but these two are certainly not the Hardy Boys. Are they up to facing a homocidal maniac? And what about dear old Aunt Lacy? Is she as sweet and innocent as she seems amidst all this carnage? I'm not telling. This film isn't just low-budget, it sets the bar for the word "low". All of the actors are truly bad (with the exception, perhaps of the actor playing Jeremy, who is obviously having a grand time in the part, and plays it with great creepy zest) the audio drops out between shots, and the music is both generic, and too loud to hear anything else by. But that's not why we watch this crap, now is it? It's for the gore. And "Splatter Farm" has it in spades. Considering the do-it-yourself 1987 technology level, and little access to education in the matter, the gore effects are actually rather accomplished and impressive. More importantly, however, are the situations in the film itself that make it such a remarkable little film. Nearly every major taboo you can think of is featured in this film; rape, incest, animal cruelty/killings, child murders, coprophilia, and everything in between. This is a film that needs to be seen to be believed. That doesn't mean you necessarily want to believe it though. |
RatingI give Splatter Farm
One-Half Rotting Shambling Corpses out of Five. |