ED AND HIS DEAD MOTHER
1993
Directed by Johnathan Wacks
A.K.A. Exibit A23 in my case AGAINST Zombification
A.K.A. Something NEW
PlotWell. Being an Ed, and a necropediphobe, this tile haunted me from the videoshelf for years. When I finally watched it, I was disappointed... Meet Ed (a young Steve Buscemi! ), a man who's seen better times. You see, not so long back he lost his mother, with whom he was strongly attatched. Now he lives in the house he grew up in, and staying with him is his pervy-yet-goofy Uncle Benny (Ned Beatty! ) who keeps trying to get him to move on...like towards the pretty new neighbor across the street. But Ed's a busy man, now that he runs the family hardware store. One day, a rather unusual business man by the name of A.J. Pattle comes to see Ed. And I mean unusual. He's dressed in all white, which is matching his hair, complete with his eyebrows, yet his skin is a deep machine-made tan. ANd he looks kinda like Ted Danson. Like I said, weird. His offer is even weirder. "What we sell," he explains, "is life!" That's right, life. He wants to sell Ed the opportunity to have his mother back, alive. After some haggling, a deal is struck.
The next day, the salesman meets back up with Ed. You see, there's a slight problem: Mother's a little less than fresh. Okay, a lot less. Clearly Ed gets lowballed into paying a lot more than he agreed to. Nevertheless, she's promised to return at midnight, alive and well. That night, as Ed is preparing the house for dear old mom, a knock comes on the door around 11:30. Surprise! It's the pretty new neighbor! She seems to think that Ed was peeping on her, and that she likes it. It was actually Benny that was ogling, but who is Ed to tell her otherwise? She immediately starts coming on to him super-strongly. Just in time for mother's homecoming! You know, for a dead woman she doesn't look so bad. Sure, she's a little gray around the gills, but she's otherwise right as rain. No shambling, no moaning, nothing. The next morning finds Ed discovering his mother sleeping in the fridge. His uncle is pretty shocked at first by her sudden reappearance, but eventually accepts it, because hey, Benny's an easy-going kinda guy.
At work, Ed encounters a new visitor, Rob, a disgruntled ex-employee. See, he was caught stealing by mom years back, and sent to jail, but now he's back for revenge. Luckily Ed's much larger employee comes out and scares the guy away. To make the day all the better, Ed comes home to find his mom on the floor, stone dead again. Benny, not knowing what to do, decided to just leave her there for Ed to deal with. Like I said, Benny's an easy-going guy. Luckily Mr. Pattles chooses that moment to come to the door! And wouldn't you know it? He's got a solution to Ed's problem for sale! Imagine that. He sells Ed a tiny coffin full of beetles, which Ed is to feed live to mother keep her animated. "It takes life to make life," Pattles explains. Oh and one more thing: Ed is forbidden from feeding her more than two per day. Mr. Pattles doesn't go into details, he just suggests its for the best if Ed doesn't. And of course, with almost clockwork precision, murphy's law comes into effect: The next day Ed finds the box emptied out. D'oh! Whether someone fed them all to mommy dearest, or just let the little bugs go is a secondary concern to Ed, as his mother is busy currently chasing a dog down the street in ravanous hunger. Ed & his uncle decide the best plan is to lock zombie mom in her room. Later, while on a date with the suspiciously hot neighbor, Ed gets the upsetting news that his mother has escaped. Double D'oh! Then, while the two men are out looking for her, she returns home to run smack dab into Rob, who would like to discuss a thing or three with her. When Ed and Benny get back, they find one well-fed matriarch, and one dead ex-con. Well crap. Who's mother going to eat next? And how will Ed stop her? And finally, how much is Mr. Pattles going to charge him to clean up the whole mess? |
RatingI give Ed and his dead mother: 
Two and a Half Rotting Shambling Corpses out of Five. |