The Roundtables!
The Astro-Critics! AnarquistadorFor years, Anarq was relegated to the position of sidekick amongst the Astro-Critics, despite the great powers granted to him by the ancient monks of the secret order of Owa-Tani-Siam. In a stirringly unanimous vote, the plucky lad was granted full membership to the team after finally succeeding at reviewing a film without resorting to whipped cream, monkeys, or nudity.
ChoconadoAt the 1889 world's fair, Dr. Augustus Gunderson revealed his newest invention, a pnumatic man capable of dancing the waltz with any refined lady so choosing, play three concertos on the cello, fire off long-range ballistic missiles, play chess, and many other genial household sundries. After a rather rousing argument regarding the proper etiquette behind a rubicon gambit resulting in the Arch-Duke Forthingay finding himself with his brain removed from his cranium, it was decided then that Gunderson's magnificent man should desist from most parlor games henceforth.
Count ZeroAbandoned as an infant to the sewers, Count Zero was raised by rats amongst the detritus and leftovers of humanity. This lead to Zero becoming the gentleman bandit know to all as the scourge of the cheese industry. Count Zero is also wanted on charges in connection to the current rash of D-Con factory bombings. If you have any information regarding the Count's whereabouts, contact the authorities immediately.
Deeky WentworthSpoken of in hushed tones from as far off locations as the opium dens of the Barbary Coast to the brothels amongst darkest Ukraine, it is hard to seperate the man from the myth when it comes to Deacon Wentworth. Rumored to currently reside in a secret mountain retreat somewhere in Deepest Africa, he lets his dark presence be known across the globe. It is whispered he had a hand in such varied evil creations as the Facts Of Life reunion special, and Tofurky.
Dr. KobbOnce upon a time, the inestimable Dr. Kobb was the talk of Constantinople, with such scientific breakthroughs as the technology to transfer the mind of one rhesus monkey into another, and the battery operated turnip. Lately, however, he seems to have fallen into seclusion. When pressed about his work, he can be heard to mumble unintelligently about oppossums, aboriginies, and fermium.
GrendelSome facts about Grendel:
JuniperRankign among such cryptozoological wonders as the skunk ape and the jersey devil, Juniper the Delightfully Saucy cannot be verified scientifically to actually exist. Reports vary about her random appearances, wherin she has been known to seek out food, and abscond with strapping young men, never to be seen again, destined for purposes unknown. One young lad, lucky enough to escape from her clutches was found wandering the streets in tattered clothes, rambling about the "Horrible, awful, all-knowing eyes!"
KodosThere are some who believe that there is a seperate subspecies of creature that walks among humanity, hiding in dark alleyways and abandoned farmhouses. Identifiable by their pasty white skin, garishly wild markings, and pale dead eyes, they have been said to attempt to lure naive young men and children into their clutches with their soft murmurring cry of "Come join the circus...". Of course, these people are all ignorant, simian-headed dolts, and shall not be spoken of again.
P.O. Box 423 Norfolk, Connecticut 90043
MayzshonA little known fact about Mayzshon--Every three years his skin is shed completely, revealing a fresh-faced new body. Witnesses to this event have unanimously sworn off both food and sex for the remainder of their lives. Eating the skin has been documented as causing intestinal rupturing, temporary insanity, and permanent blindness, not unlike the "specialty" drinks served at Mayshon's notoriously monsterous mashes.
SantoIn the 54th century, mankind has evolved to a state to pure mental being. Unfortunately, an incident involving solar rays has eradicated all harmonic sound. Humanity, in a desperate attempt to continue to dominate the universe, created a being that was made up of a composite of each individual's mind. This creature of impressive intellect and opinion, known only as "Santo", was sent back to the past to locate the source of all rock and or roll. Failing that, his secondary mission involved tracking down a really good nacho bar.
Future Roundtables in the Works!
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Portrait In Flesh Portrait in Flesh is very beautiful, and everyone loves her. It is an honor just to know her, and to recieve an injury from her would be worth a thousand compliments from someone else. (call the police) Without her, our lives would be incomplete, because she is also oh-so-smart and witty. (please help us) As a matter of fact, we all think that driving sharp knives into flesh and then pouring salt on the wounds is a funny game! It's SO funny, isn't it? Hee hee ha ha....